How Soon is Too Soon to Move In? 15 Things to Remember

Hello there! If you’ve been following my blog, you may remember we delved into the dilemma of “How soon is too soon to propose?” in an earlier post. With that important question tackled, let’s focus on another equally significant query: “How soon is too soon to move in?” In my long career, I’ve encountered numerous couples wrestling with this question, each seeking a timeline or a clear-cut answer.

And I completely understand why. After all, moving in together is a big step. It’s a proclamation of commitment, of wanting to intertwine your lives more deeply. It’s also a doorway to understanding each other better, seeing each other in all shades of reality – morning breath, laundry days, and everything in between. It’s about more than just sharing physical space; it’s about sharing lives. Hence, knowing when to take this step is vital.

I’m glad you’ve turned to this article, as it shows your willingness to make an informed decision. It tells me you understand the weight of this choice. Over the years, I’ve learned the answer to how soon is too soon to move in isn’t one-size-fits-all. Every relationship is unique, with its own rhythm and pace. Thus, it requires a more personalized approach and careful consideration of various factors.

This article delves into these factors, covering everything from assessing your relationship’s maturity to considering financial stability, conflict management skills, and understanding each other’s quirks and lifestyles. These insights come from my years of counseling couples and current relationship research. So, buckle up and prepare to dive deep into the world of cohabitation. Let’s unravel the mystery of how soon it is too soon to move in together.

The maturity of your relationship often holds the answer
The maturity of your relationship often holds the answer

1. Assess Your Relationship’s Maturity

When it comes to the question, how soon is too soon to move in? The maturity of your relationship often holds the answer. This isn’t just about the length of time you’ve been together. It’s about knowing your partner deeply – their values, dreams, pet peeves, and the little things that make them smile. Have you seen each other through good times and bad? Do you feel you can depend on each other when things get tough? A mature relationship is ready for the challenge of cohabitation.

2. Define What Living Together Means to You

This is where your personal beliefs come into play. Some view living together as the last step before marriage, while others see it as saving on rent or convenience. These views can significantly impact how you answer how soon it is too soon to move in. Have an open discussion with your partner about this. Understanding each other’s expectations can prevent a lot of misunderstandings down the road.

3. Gauge Your Conflict Management Skills

Conflicts are an inevitable part of any relationship. But it’s not the presence of conflicts, rather how you manage them, that defines the health of your relationship. Have you and your partner learned to communicate effectively and resolve your differences respectfully? If so, you’re more equipped to face the reality of living together. If not, moving in may be too soon, as unresolved conflicts can quickly sour your living experience.

4. Evaluate Your Financial Stability

Moving in together involves a lot more than sharing a bed and a Netflix account; it’s also about sharing financial responsibilities. When you ask yourself, how soon is too soon to move in? Take a hard look at your financial stability. Can you both comfortably split rent, utilities, groceries, and other expenses? This is a discussion that should never be put on the back burner, as financial issues are a common cause of stress in relationships.

5. Test the Waters with Short Stays

If you’re still unsure about how soon is too soon to move in, it might be helpful to have a test run. Consider spending a week or two together in a neutral location, like a holiday rental. This will give you a glimpse of what living together feels like – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and can help you make a more informed decision.

6. Consider Your Personal Space Needs

We all need a space to call our own, a place where we can unwind undisturbed. Even when living with a loved one, this need doesn’t disappear. When considering moving in, factor in your personal space needs. Do you and your partner understand and respect each other’s need for solitude? If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of not being together every second, it might be too soon to move in.

As a couple how soon is too soon to move in together
As a couple how soon is too soon to move in together

7. Reflect on Past Cohabiting Experiences

If you’ve lived with a partner in the past, use that experience to your advantage. What aspects of cohabitation did you enjoy? What challenges did you face? What would you do differently this time? Answering these questions can provide valuable.

8. Think About Your Future Together

When considering moving in together, discussing your long-term goals is crucial. Are you both looking at this step as a precursor to marriage or a long-term commitment? If you’re moving in the same direction, great! But if one of you is sprinting towards commitment while the other is strolling leisurely, moving in might be too soon.

9. Assess Your Flexibility

Living with a partner involves making numerous adjustments and compromises. You may have different sleep schedules, cleaning standards, or dietary habits. Ask yourself, “Am I ready to make compromises?” and “Is my partner flexible too?” If the answer is no, moving in might be too soon.

10. Know Your Why If You’re Thinking How Soon is Too Soon to Move In

Why do you want to move in with your partner? If your reasons are centered around love, companionship, and wanting to grow together, that’s a great sign. However, it might be too soon if you’re considering it because you’re uncomfortable in your current living situation or want to save money. Make sure your motivation is about the relationship itself.

11. Determine Your Relationship Goals

What are your relationship goals? Do they align with your partner’s? Cohabitation should ideally be a step towards achieving these goals together. If your goals are misaligned or if one party needs to be more sure about their goals, it might answer the question of how soon is too soon to move in.

12. Understand Your Partner’s Lifestyle

Living together intimately means knowing each other’s routines, habits, and preferences. You might be an early bird, while your partner is a night owl. You might love cooking, while your partner prefers takeout. Understanding these differences can help you navigate the intricacies of living together and determine how soon it is too soon to move in.

13. Get to Know Your Partner’s Quirks

Your partner may have a strange habit of eating pickles at midnight or watching reruns of old sitcoms. We all have quirks that only become evident when we share a living space. Get to know these quirks before deciding to move in. It adds a layer of understanding and can prevent potential clashes in your cohabitation journey.

The decision to move in together is as complex as it is exciting
The decision to move in together is as complex as it is exciting

14. Talk About Your Fears

It’s okay to have fears and doubts about moving in together. In fact, it’s perfectly normal. Open up about these fears with your partner. This can deepen your bond and ensure both parties are aware of potential issues that could arise.

15. Listen to Your Gut

Lastly, always trust your intuition. Only you truly know your relationship and what feels right for you. Don’t rush into living together because you feel pressured or because it’s the ‘next step.’ Listen to your gut; it has a knack for knowing how soon it is too soon to move in.


So, there you have it, my dear readers! A deep dive into the question that has been on your mind, how soon is too soon to move in? I truly hope this exploration has helped you gain clarity and will guide you in your cohabitation journey.

In this article, we’ve unpacked many considerations, from the maturity of your relationship, financial stability, conflict management, personal space needs, understanding each other’s quirks, and so much more. Each of these factors is a piece of the puzzle that, when pieced together, can provide a clearer picture to answer our question at hand.

Remember, the decision to move in together is as complex as it is exciting. It’s not merely about sharing an address but sharing your lives with all their wonderful and not-so-wonderful moments. It’s about weaving together your dreams, routines, space, and, sometimes, even your favorite Netflix shows. It’s a step that brings you closer to your partner in a very tangible way.

But, as we’ve discussed, the timeline isn’t set in stone. There’s no magical number of dates or months after which it’s the perfect time to move in. Each relationship has its own unique pace, and that’s the beauty of it. So, don’t be swayed by societal pressure or comparisons with others. Listen to your heart, trust your instincts, and have those essential, albeit sometimes awkward, conversations with your partner.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned while working as a relationship adviser, it’s that successful cohabitation is built on a strong foundation of mutual understanding, respect, and love. It’s about two people willing to put in the effort, make compromises, and support each other through thick and thin. If you feel you’re at this stage, perhaps it’s not too soon to move in after all.

To end, remember that it’s your relationship, your journey. Embrace it at your pace, with all its unique twists and turns. After all, these shared experiences and little moments make your bond stronger and your love deeper. So, as you stand on the brink of this new chapter, I wish you nothing but love, laughter, and a lifetime of shared memories.

So, is it too soon to move in? Well, only you and your partner hold the answer. Until next time, happy loving and living, folks! And remember, love isn’t about finding the perfect person but seeing an imperfect person perfectly.